I met Sarah recently to talk about the menopause. She told me that she talks to many women who, during midlife have problems sleeping.
I asked her if she’d kindly write November’s Blog all about sleep; how to get more of it, how to get better quality of it and how to stay asleep.
Happy Reading Ladies.
About Sarah Hudson
Sarah Hudson is a cognitive behavioural hypnotherapist based in Worcestershire. She combines CBT-I and hypnotherapy to help women break the cycle of sleepless nights and sleep anxiety. Having been through menopause herself, she understands what it's like.
Struggling with sleep during menopause? Sleep therapist Sarah Hudson explores why sleep becomes so difficult at this stage of life and offers practical, reassuring advice to help break the insomnia cycle.
Sleep problems are among the most common struggles in perimenopause and menopause. Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep or waking too early can feel like the last straw when you're already dealing with so much else.
I've been through menopause myself, and as a therapist specialising in sleep, I've noticed something that can make it even harder: the anxiety we develop about sleep itself.
The menopause factor
One of my sleep therapy clients told me, “It's my menopause that's stopping me sleeping.” It's an understandable conclusion when your hormones and your sleep change at the same time.
Menopause can affect sleep through night sweats and other symptoms, and it's important to get the right support. For some women, treating these symptoms with HRT or other measures can make a real difference to their sleep.
But if problems persist even when your menopause symptoms are being well managed, it may be time to look a little more deeply at what else could be going on.
When sleep becomes a battle
I work with women who are exhausted and increasingly anxious about not sleeping. They've tried magnesium, lavender pillow mists and everything in between, hoping for the one thing that will finally work.
There's nothing wrong with trying these remedies, but they can have a limited effect if sleep is starting to consume your thoughts. If you consistently dread bedtime or judge every night by how much sleep you think you got, this might sound familiar.
The brain is wired to look for a cause and then set about solving the problem. If sleep starts to feel like a nut that has to be cracked, this can create tension and frustration, making it harder to relax and fall asleep.
Less is more
I'm not saying you should put up with feeling exhausted. But there's a big difference between wanting your sleep to improve and finding that sleep has become your number one nemesis.
It doesn't help that social media gurus insist we need “perfect” sleep to ward off every health condition going. I've seen this fuel sleep anxiety in many of my clients, too.
Sleep is a natural process that can't be forced or fully controlled. So often, the harder we try, the more alert and frustrated we become. Sometimes doing less achieves so much more.
This is a key principle of cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBT-I), an evidence-based treatment (available on the NHS in some areas) that addresses the thoughts, emotions and behaviours that can keep insomnia going.
Acceptance is part of it, but that doesn't mean liking the situation or giving up hope. It means learning not to fight so hard against something you can't fully control, while still taking practical steps to improve your sleep.
This may sound ridiculously simple, and sometimes the solutions to our problems are. But peeling back the layers and letting go of unhelpful thinking patterns and habits can feel difficult without the right kind of support.
What's keeping you awake?
Therapy can be an effective way to explore what is literally keeping you awake at night. When I work with clients going through the menopause, we spend time exploring what is happening in their lives.
Menopause often arrives alongside a demanding stage of life:
Children facing exams or leaving home
Worry about an ageing parent
Feeling unsettled at work
Wondering what you want from the next chapter of your life
When the house is quiet at night, things you've pushed aside for years can suddenly feel much bigger. Sometimes there's more beneath the surface.
One client put enormous pressure on herself to get everything right for her family and in her work. In therapy, she began to recognise that she was placing unfair expectations on herself. As she let go of some of that pressure, her sleep began to change.
Insomnia doesn't always have an emotional cause, and it's important not to assume that it does. But if you're carrying anxiety, sadness or difficult experiences, talking to a therapist may help you understand what's going on and find a way forward.
A few things that might help
You don't need to get everything right to sleep well. But a few simple changes can help reduce the pressure around sleep and support a healthier pattern.
Get up at a consistent time. A regular morning wake-up time can help steady your body clock, even after a difficult night.
Notice your night-time thoughts. “Tomorrow will be unbearable” is a prediction, not a fact. You may feel tired, but that doesn't mean you won't be able to manage the day.
Stop clock-watching. Calculating how little sleep you'll get only adds pressure. Try removing clocks from your bedroom and see whether it helps.
Avoid hunting for the perfect fix. A warm bath or lavender can be lovely, but you don't need the ideal supplement or bedtime ritual to sleep well.
You don’t need perfect sleep to be healthy There are many factors that contribute to good health.
Seek support if sleep problems persist. If sleep is affecting your daily life, speak to your GP or consider CBT-I, which can help you break the cycle of insomnia.
Finding a little peace with sleep
When you're exhausted and desperate for a good night's sleep, it's understandable that you try everything you can to make it happen. And when sleep continues to elude you, it's easy to feel frustrated and anxious.
If menopause is affecting your sleep, getting the right support for your symptoms can make a real difference. And if worry about sleep has become part of the problem, there are ways to gently break that cycle, too.
You deserve to feel less anxious about sleep, not just to get more of it. And with the right support, both are possible.
To Contact Sarah please go to:
Sessions are available online, wherever you are. Get in touch with hello@sarahhudsontherapy.co.uk or visit www.sarahhhudsontherapy.co.uk to explore how you can start sleeping more peacefully.
